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Love, Dating, and Marriage: An Inside Definition

Now, when one sees a title such as "Love, Marriage and Dating", you would say to yourself, "Isn’t all tied together, don’t they all depend on one another to coexist?" The truth is, in a perfect world it should blend, but in today’s society all three words mean something different to each and every one of us. The dictionary defines LOVE as “a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person”. The thing that most individuals do not realize is that the right kind of love leads to DATING the right person, not a perfect person, the right person meant for you. Let's face it, if we were all perfect, we would all end up with our perfect mates and there would never be any problems in any relationship. But, as we all know, that is not the case. Love is such a powerful word, the feelings and emotions attached to it can be overwhelming, exciting, sexy, fun, crazy and sometimes dangerous. However, LOVE is a great feeling once experienced with the right person.

When DATING, both men and women need to look for someone of substance, meaning that they may have their own flaws, but together they are willing to work together to make each other better by bravely showing one another their vulnerabilities and understanding what it means to be in a committed relationship. The dictionary defines DATING as "a part of human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage”. Dating is a scary feeling. You never know what to expect with that person, it’s almost like taking a leap of faith and going into the unknown and saying “I am going to love and trust you with my heart that is vulnerable”. You don’t know what to expect and you’re probably saying to yourself “I hope he/she is the one for me."

Perhaps your experiences have lead you to want something more, something lasting, maybe you are of the mindset that dating should ultimately lead to MARRIAGE. MARRIAGE is defined as “the union of two people embarking on a committed relationship binding them together like a contract”. Let’s face it, we were not created to be alone. Everyone needs someone to love, build a life with, have children/family and grow old with. Marriage is a fragile institution and a lifetime commitment. Marriage is the most intimate relationship that one experiences because this is where the real test of love comes in. To make any relationship work, one needs communication, some compromise, and dedication.

I am in no way an expert on relationships, but I am a person who has experienced all three stages and knows what love means, what dating entitles and the work it takes to have a happy and successful marriage. My motto in life is “Live and Love”. Experience is the best teacher and only by going through these three stages can one truly understand that without love, you can’t date and without dating, you will never find your Mr. or Mrs. Right. Communication is the most important factor to any healthy relationship.

My thoughts and my words


Her name is Felicia Okonkwo, most people know her as Flexy, Ok Flexy. She is African American with Nigerian Roots. Was born in Chicago, Illinois, but lived and went to high school in Nigeria and returned to the states in 1995. She has had the pleasure of hosting and coordinating local events with different organizations within the Boston area such as being a member of the United Sisters of Color (USOC), co-host for Boston Naturals, mentor and Big Sister with the Big Sisters of Greater Boston and Mother Caroline Academy. She also served as Vice President for an organization called Seekers of Knowledge, a dance organization for young black girls and also was a City Awake Delegate with the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce. She has come to meet a lot of different people in her line of work and she really believes that people have lost their humanity along the way, so she is hoping to change and pave the way for a better mankind when it comes to service of others. She is a daughter, sister, mentor, big sister, friend and helper. She is looking to open and manage a catering business called SistAct 3 Catering, with her two sisters and brother, which they are hoping to turn to a storefront soon. Their passion for cooking and serving is the driving force behind it. Her motto in life is "Live and Love".



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