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Relationships, Convenience and Commitments



1. The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

From the moment we enter this earth till the moment we die we are constantly reminded of how important it is to need someone else. We spend 9 months inside the womb where our growth depends solely on our mothers. The bond that is formed during those first 9 months is crucial to our being as it serves as our first introduction to what it means to be nurtured and loved. Many even argue that It serves as the blue print for all connections thereafter.

Furthermore, as we progress through life we are introduced to many faces. Some of them we form lifelong bonds with them, some are lessons and others just simply phase out. We are taught this idea that somehow the relationships we have with others are much more important than the relationship we have with ourselves. Constantly being sold this idea that we need to fill a void we didn’t even know existed until someone told us so. We become imprinted with the need to keep ourselves surrounded by others so that we can’t hear our own loneliness. So just like it’s expected… we do what we’ve been taught to do. We find people who fit our “now” and when they no longer serve us we start the search all over again. The search for convenience.



1. The state of being able to proceed with something with little effort or difficulty.

Every day we’re looking for new ways to make life more convenient. We’re bombarded with new gadgets that we’re told will make our lives easier… society caps on the idea that we’re all insecure so they tell us how to fill the void they’ve helped us create. We’re told we need the latest Apple Watch because it has more features … thus making it more convenientthan the last one. Truthfully, money is made by insecurity. But sure that’s true for materialistic items… but can the same be said for the value we place on the relationships we sustain with people? Are convenient relationships made from insecurity as well? It’s almost as if we use convenience as a way to fill a certain void we have within ourselves.

I feel as if many people confuse convenience with using someone… as if there’s some sort of confusion between a material object and someone’s heart. Your relationships with people should be convenient but you should not usethem solely because they’re convenient for you. As crazy as it all sounds, many people will use someone just because they are convenient to them with little to no regard for the impact this has on someone’s emotional well being. However, most people act as if convenience and using someone are synonymous with each other. Convenience requires little effort or difficulty whereas using someone comes in the form of manipulation, lies and deceit. Again, two very different definitions but seemingly very much alike to the undeveloped soul.

So what happens when you’re no longer convenient for that person? When life has progressed and transitions have been made.. where will you fit. They’ve used you for what they’ve intended and now they’ll find convenience in the comfort of another. They’ve decided there’s no room for you in their new world so now you wander aimlessly, subconsciously trying to find your next convenient relationship. When friendships become hard to sustain and you can’t balance your expectations with your reality then you’ll see why most people choose convenience over commitment.

Whether it be the latest technology gadget, a platonic relationship, romantic relationship or any other form of relationships..we’re all looking for what we consider “convenient”. But when do convenience and commitment ever cross paths?



1. the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, or person (etc).

How thorough is your commitment to the progression of your relationships? When you’re committed to that friendship or relationship there are no circumstances that will prohibit you both from growing together and individually. But for some people, commitment is a scary concept, which is why I choose to welcome it so openly. Being the only soul invested in a relationship where two or more bodies are physically present is draining and lonely. To be in the company of others but feel isolated in one space… how much damage can that do to one person?

All in all, I’ll leave you with these last few questions in regards to the relationships that occupy your life as of today… do you partake in them because they’re convenient for you? Or have you made a decision to commit yourself to these relationships because they're worth keeping?


AMJ is from Let her work serve as a platform for creative expression and reflection. - a space for the black girl. Created by her, for individuals alike.


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